Waking Up Is Nasty Business
Scribbled on 22 July 2008 at 08:17 PM
This is probably the best HDR picture I have ever taken.
When my eyes open, they close immediately. In fact I am not even sure if I am awake or not. It takes my mind some time to decide. And I don't mean seconds, I mean minutes. Sometimes even half an hour, during which I am not sure where I am or what my name is. It feels harder to breath. And then there is the headache that kicks in immediately. It's the type of headache that you get from oxygene deprivation, except that I was sleeping on the sofa with all windows and balcony doors open. It feels absolutely paralyzing. It feels like I munched on sleeping pills the evening before but I haven't. It feels like both my mind and my body are several decades older than they are. Even without glancing at the clock, I know that I've slept through both of my alarms. The clock shows that I have been sleeping for twelve hours. And yet I feel more tired than when I went to bed. Maybe I should give up sleep altogether? Nah, it would mean abandoning the dreams. They are so much better than the reality. In fact, I remember dreaming about our blogging community last night, but the only blogger that I could name was KingofAnkh. Heh... And this, my friends, is a story of all my mornings.
I like the dreams because they allow me to be somewhere else. Maybe that's why I like MMO games. I am not much for accomplishing goals in them, I just want to... be somewhere else. And maybe that's why my booklust has come back. When I read I am somewhere else. Heck, the same probably goes for blog reading. In all those cases I get transformed to another worlds, with rules and motivations that are more understandable than in reality surrounding me. Some would say that I long for simplicity only found in stories, but I would say that it is the reality, with its simplistic and misplaced rules, that is in need of more complexity. Or maybe not. How am I supposed to trust my brain in this state?
It's ennui, melancholy and fatalism to the max during summer days. Maybe I am turning into a hikikomori, if I am not already. I certainly understand them. Hey, speaking about Japan... how about a DVD with women staring at you for hours? Just staring. And occasionally saying "hello". Nothing more. Only in Japan...
On the other hand I am discovering more and more cool applications. Or rather, new functions in the applications I was already using. Take Picasa, for example. A great program for viewing and altering your photos. But it now have have Web Albums function, hosted free on Google. So what?, you say, Flickr is better. I'm sure it has more functions but the ease of uploading from Picasa is just staggering. Not to mention that it does all the necessary resizing, cropping and converting RAW to JPG automatically. And it's connected to Gmail accounts. So ladies and gentlemen, please feel free to check out my Picasa Web gallery. Some albums are restricted so if you want to see pics including more people, you will have to mail me your Google username, so I can grant you access.
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